The Accidental Amazon

This will be a work in progress. It started as a blog post, but I like to think it fills a gap in social communication. And I hope it stimulates a little creativity. So, all you sistahs, survivors, previvors, friends and fans, do send an email to kk@accidentalamazon.com to contribute your own.

My post-prompting blog excursions recently led inexorably to Wikipedia, where I found an illuminating dictionary of emoticons. There I found several versions of the standard turn-sideways-to-read-them facial expressions, such as smiling, laughing and surprise, or :>, 8D and :-O; plus some expressions for things especially pertinent to moi, like skepticism ( : / ) and sarcasm (>_>), which I think can be read sideways or straight-on. There are also some straight-on Asian and Japanese emoticons, like (~_^), which is a wink, and (*_*), which is disapproval. But the ones that really stopped me in my tracks were the emoticons for body parts.

I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to include a penis emoticon in a text message, but I could certainly use a few boobs now and then. (Oh! I made a funny!! ;-D) Quite a number of us could use a boob or two now and then, preferably stick-on ones that would enable us to avoid all that nasty surgery we end up going through. However, I found the Wikipedia list to be lacking in emoticons that would truly reflect our experiences. So, in an effort to redress this grievous oversight, I offer these:

Emoticons for Breast Cancer Surgery & Reconstruction:

1. ( o )( o ) — basic boobs
2. ( o Y o ) — basic boobs with cleavage
3. < - >< - > — basic boobs after a mammogram
4. ( o )( o#) — basic boobs after a biopsy
5. ( o ) ___ — post-mastectomy
6. ( o ) ___ ~ — post-mastectomy with drain
7. ( o ){—}~ — post-mastectomy with immediate expander insertion and drain
8. ~___ ___~ — double mastectomy with drains
9. ( o )(o, — partial mastectomy/lumpectomy
10. ( o )(@, — partial mastectomy/lumpectomy done through circum-aureolar incision
11. (o)(o, — partial mastectomy with contralateral breast reduction
12. (|: /) — Frida Kahlo looking skeptical

9/22/10 Here’s a few reconstruction updates from sistah Karin. Thanks, dahling. Nice to know I’m not the only one with a whacko sense of humor.

1. Before & after recon:
   “There’s a new girl in town. Saying goodbye to ( – )(-), and hello to ( – )( – ).”
2. And her later comment: ‘Having fun with emoticons’
   “With ( o Y o ); Without ( o )(>); Oops wrong side (<)( o )."

10/14/10: from Donna of the BRCA Sisterhood:

• Big. ( • )( • ) or small. (.) (.) save them all. REPOST for Breast Cancer Awareness.

Thanks, Donna!

And these, from my sistah Val, by way of her friend Michele:

• FAKE(+)(+) Perfect (o)(o) Perky(*)(*)
  Cold (^)(^), even Grandma’s \./\./
  Big ( o )( o ) or small (.)(.)
  SAVE THEM ALL! Repost for Breast Cancer Awareness!!

To which Val added:

• You forgot one; (o) /
  Now that’s breast cancer awareness!!!

And finally, Val sent me this message: Michele added

• — —
  and for the boys [..]

Okay, I’ll stop now.

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