Stop Pinking!

Recently, on the Facebook page for Breast Cancer Action, another sistah posted a parody photo of a pink Lockheed Martin jet, with a nice, snarky, farcical caption about how 3 cents of every dollar of the $156 million they made selling this fighter jet would support breast cancer research.  It was a joke, but I’m sorry to say that, in reality, there are pink jets out there, passenger jets that airlines have pinked up for breast cancer awareness.   And, of course, I found them.   Feast your eyes on these babies:

Not to be outdone, Brazilian airline Azul has its own version:

They even provided an all-female crew for it:

Talk about ‘Big Pink’…

Well, friends, in real life, the Accidental Amazon is very tired.  After two of my BFF’s had to have mastectomies, one a single, the other a double, in just the past two weeks, I am pretty damn tired of breast cancer, pink, the healthcare system, breast surgeons who actually admit to being surprised that post-mastectomy patients with drains hanging out of them can’t move their arms for a while without a lot of pain (this admission was delivered to my friend who had the double mast), and several other of life’s wearying vicissitudes, I may be absent here for a short while.  I need a major recharge.  If only I could plug myself into an outlet like I do with my cell phone…

But, in addition to helping one friend find stuff she could actually wear comfortably after surgery, and visiting the other in the hospital, and going to work to see my own patients, and caring for an ailing, elderly cat who doesn’t have long for this world, and finding out my uncle died, I managed to do one solidly carefree and creative thing in the last few weeks.  And that was to produce another musical parody, a good ol’ snarky, Amazonian spit-in-the-eye at Big Pink and its merchandising mania.  So, crank up the volume and enjoy this offering from the Accidental Gaga while I’m off trying to recover from Life.
xxoo


Stop Pinking! The Amazon’s Remix

Stop Pinking!

Hello, hello, Big Pink, you called? I can’t hear a thing
I’m a tired patient in the Club, you see, see
What what what did you say? You want me to buy some pink?
Sorry, I don’t feel so good, I’m kinda busy

I’m kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I don’t feel so good
I’m kinda busy

Just a second, you say that you’re working on a cure
Selling all this pink shit, making money that’s for sure.
You shoulda made your plans by talking to people like me
Instead you’re merchandising my disease, I see, see

Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I left my breasts on that cold surgical floor
Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I lost my breasts, not my mind, on that cold floor

[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
Stop merchandising me
[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
I’m busy
[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
Stop merchandising me

Call all you want, but there’s no one home
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

Call all you want, but there’s no one home
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

Oh, the way you blowin’ up my phone
Won’t make me heal no faster
Get through treatment faster
Save my girls no faster

I should’ve left my phone at home
‘Cause this is a disaster
Callin’ like a collector
Sorry, I cannot answer

Not that I don’t need help, I just don’t need no pink
And I am sick and tired of it all around me
Sometimes I feel like I live in Pink Central Station
Tonight I’m not buyin’ no pink, ’cause I’ll be sleepin’

‘Cause I’ll be sleepin’
‘Cause I’ll be sleepin’
Tonight I’m not buyin’ no pink
‘Cause I’ll be sleepin’

Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I left my breasts on that cold surgical floor
Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I lost my breasts, not my mind, on that cold floor

Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I lost my breasts but I won’t be your pink whore
Stop pinking, stop pinking,
I don’t want your pink anymore
I lost my breasts but I won’t be your pink whore

[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
Stop merchandising me
[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
I’m busy
[Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh]
Stop merchandising me

Call all you want, but there’s no one home
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

Call all you want, but there’s no one home
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

My telephone,
My my my my telephone,
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

My telephone,
My my my my telephone,
‘Cause I’m sick in the Club, I ain’t buying your bubb’
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

 


Speaking of cell phones, one of the above-mentioned BFF’s has the original of this song, “Telephone” by Lady Gaga, as her ring tone. So every time her cell phone rang while we were getting her ready for surgery, her phone would sing out, “Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore!”   Thank you, Dear Heart, for being the sweetest, dearest, majorly stressed-out-to-the-max person on this earth, and for inspiring yours truly with your cell phone.

…and by the way, Lady Gaga, I was born this way, too.   And I hope you tell those brass-plated sharks at 1800LawSuit to go pound sand.   “America’s most trusted legal network,” my tush.   xxxooo

My next project will be the video…


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This entry was written by Kathi, posted on Monday, June 27, 2011 at 09:06 pm, filed under Art & Music, Fighting the Pink Peril, Making A Difference, Play and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink . Post a comment below or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

14 Responses to “Stop Pinking!”

  1. You ROCK Sistah! <3 Fuck PINK!

  2. Girlfriend, you blew me away with this!!! May I use it on my blog next week? So far, I haven’t chimed in with a pink stink blog, but your creativity has pushed me over the edge. I did talk to USAToday a few times. Will touch base with them again and direct them to your blog.

    So great, so right on!!

    Brenda

  3. Love your song and your ability to write such lyrics. So good. As for the first part of your post, take a break, step away and recharge. We all need to sometimes. This stuff is just too heavy to carry all the time. I hope your friends and family will be well. Take care and come back soon with more awesome songs. I’ll be here.

  4. Brilliant Amazon!

  5. Fantastic and so creative, as usual. That pink all-female crew really gagged me–tipped me over the edge. I bet not a single one of them has had breast cancer. Otherwise, how could they do this to us sistahs? Anyway, I hope Brenda is able to get USA Today to feature your blog. You’re one artistic Gaga Girl.
    XXOO,
    Jan

  6. This is fantastic! You are fantastic! “I lost my breasts on the cold surgical floor, not my mind,” I absolutely love that.

    Sorry to hear about your uncle and hope your friends are doing better.

    Take some time to recharge yourself. And yes, if only we could just plug ourselves in like we do our cell phones…

    Oh, and that picture of the pink crew, made me gag. Seriously. It did.

  7. Thanks, Sistahs! Brenda, by all means, share! I have visions of a road show!! LOL. Definitely need to work on a video to go with it. Seriously, it would be great to get a little media coverage. I would love to say a few things about this entire subject & be heard on a larger scale. Too many members of the public still think that all this nonsense is okay with all of us or that it actually accomplishes something. We need to move past so-called ‘awareness’ and hold Big Pink accountable for its corporate hypocrisy. Pinktober is, after all, right around the corner…

  8. All I’ve got to say is I love me some KAK 🙂

    If there’s a “hood” to be a part, I’m glad I’m in this “sistah-“hood”.

    Great great GALS!!!! Hugs to you girl ! xxooxxooxxoo

  9. LOVE the remix!! What a blast.

    Yeah, the pinkification is nauseating, like Pepto Bismol.

    Oh BTW, last week I saw a garbage truck all painted pink with a ribbon painted on the back where the garbage goes in.

    How fitting!!

    You rock!! No, literally, you rock.

  10. I am in love with this parody!! I somehow found a link to a link to a link to your link! Where oh where have you been! Humor… I love it… we, myself included, all get hung up in seriousness and somberness… I too am trying to get voices heard, for the thousands of survivors surviving survivorship – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Surviving-Survivorship-Breast-Cancer-Treatment-Nerve-Damage/173086299412483 – now there’s a mouthful – so I blog about those things in an effort to have more visibility for research funding, and to let others know they are not alone. My picture on my SGK Forum http://apps.komen.org/forums/tm.aspx?m=322106 shows me standing with a friggin’ pink shirt – my entire family and network of friends, know how much I hate pink – and always have – that it’s funny to them that the color pink surrounds me! UGH!!!!

    I am so happy I landed here in your internet space – and I hope to have made a new friend! I can’t wait to share your creation of the Stop Pinking – Accidental Gaga!

    Cin

  11. Thanks, everyone. And welcome, Cindy!! Good to have a new friend who understands how I feel about the Pink Peril. Got to get a video put together by Pinktober. [evil grin]

  12. I hate the pink as well and as a member of the club submit the following: IF the pink flight crew were bald and unabashedly asymmetrical, I could stand it.

  13. Kathi, I had forgotten to read this when you initially sent it to me. Brilliant!

  14. 😀 Thanks! Needs a video!!

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