We All Need More Cuddling

Life just leaves you speechless sometimes. That’s when you should probably just go with that, and find someone to hug. I’ve gotten lots of hugs in the past week from my wonderful, compassionate, dear, thoughtful colleagues at work. Bless them all. Foxy, my dog, is very snuggly, as you can see. Chloe was, too. A real champion cuddler, that cat.

Last week, late on the afternoon of my birthday, I found out my breast surgeon’s husband died, suddenly and unexpectedly. He was a surgeon as well, 48 years old, healthy, or so everyone thought. They were all on vacation with their kids at a ski resort in Colorado. They have five kids, one only about two years old. She told me once that for her last birthday, her husband gave her a book called This Is Not The Life I Ordered, by Deborah Collins Stephens, about coping with the crap life throws at you. I don’t think he quite meant this. I plan to hug her the next time I see her.

This Friday, I get my diagnostic mammogram, which means they take a lot of pictures of my involved breast from all angles at high resolution. I don’t know what I’ll be able to worm out of them as far as info goes. I see my new medical oncologist next Tuesday so I can talk with her about it.

I used to smoke cigarettes. I’m absolutely amazed that I’ve gotten through breast cancer, and all this waiting to find out if I have more breast cancer, and have not started smoking again. Nor have I gotten drunk. Instead, I’ve eaten rather a lot of chocolate cheesecake. Hey, I really live on the edge, don’t I? I’ve gained a few pounds, but I’m still sane. I may go to the store and get more chocolate cheesecake, as a matter of fact.

I was filling out paperwork for the new med onc and I was sort of stunned that I’m on only two prescription meds and neither one is a narcotic. One of them, admittedly, is an anti-depressant, but still. Despite misconceptions to the contrary, you can’t get high on an anti-depressant. Oh, well, I did take 3 mg of melatonin last night to help me sleep. But that’s not a controlled substance either. I must be made of stern stuff, that’s all I can say. I don’t know why I’m not nuts by now.

I think all the hugs and cuddling have helped.


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This entry was written by Kathi, posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 at 07:04 pm, filed under Diagnosis, Recurrence, Screening, Health & Healthcare, Life & Mortality, Survivorship and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink . Post a comment below or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

2 Responses to “We All Need More Cuddling”

  1. I am so glad you have your cuddlers. They do help. They make you laugh, love you unconditonally. I know this is hard. You are obviously very strong. Especially if you haven’t picked back up smoking again during all this. Or drinking. Wish I could say the same…

    STILL waiting on something before I send you a little birthday note. It is going to be VERY late. Obviously. I think about you constantly knowing you are standing on the edge with worry about what the results may be. For me waiting is so hard. I am not a patient person about some things.

    I hope it all goes very well.

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